


From foes to bros to hoes

by Lucky_Moony, Phytine (Taouret)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus is in denial, Cake baking of despair, Crack Treated Seriously, Don't copy on another site, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gellert is a sassy bitch, Just Dance of awesomeness, Karaoke of awkwardness, M/M, Monopoly game of doom, Muggle Activities, Smut, Sock Kink, Swearing, midnight bath, modern magical au, oh no there is only one bed, they were roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:51:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19461520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucky_Moony/pseuds/Lucky_Moony, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taouret/pseuds/Phytine
Summary: Each year, students from the UK’s sole university of magic partake in various activities to bond with each others during the integration week.This year, the Muggle Studies are hosting the event and things don’t go according to plan.After all, who would enjoy being stuck in a shabby inn in the middle of the woods without using magic for a week?





	1. Albus' little distraction

**Author's Note:**

> We are here to bring you the silly modern magical AU you never knew you needed until now!
> 
> On ne regrette rien…

‟I’m so happy to see that everyone is here for today’s group meeting. Of course, I know that the real reason as to why you are all here is because you wanted to see me!” Gilderoy Lockhart declared as he all but giggled out loud. ‟And I don’t blame you for this. It really does flatter me that even the Dark Arts’ representatives are here!”

As if on cue, everyone in the room stared at Vinda Rosier and Gellert Grindelwald, who had arrived late to the meeting, as usual.

The two students were famous for their surreal beauty, their tendency to jinx and throw hexes at everyone who got in their way and the fact that they were quasi-inseparable.

It was a known fact among the student body that one was rarely seen without the other.

At first, most had thought that the two were an item…Until Grindelwald had shown up in Demonology with a shirt on which was plainly written ‘GAY dark wizard and proud' which had quickly clarified things up for everyone.

Plus, there were rumors about Rosier too, so…

‟You should all be glad that we even showed up in the first place,” Gellert replied as Vinda gracefully sat down on the last worn out couch that wasn’t occupied in the room.‟I still can’t believe the Muggle Studies are hosting this year’s event,” the blonde added darkly as he sat down next to his best friend.

‟Well, if you hadn’t flipped a switch and yelled at the first years, calling them ‘bloody idiots’ and ‘incapable cockroaches’, the Dark Arts might have won last year,” slyly replied Elphias Doge, who was sitting across from him.

Gellert quirked an eyebrow at the ugly third year.‟What about you, Doge? What did you do to help your team win?”

‟If you remember correctly, I wasn’t there last year,” Elphias replied as he scratched his left arm in embarrassment.‟I was too busy not dying of the Dragon Pox.”

Minerva McGonagall, a Transfiguration major, glared at Gellert.

It was a known fact that she particularly despised the spoiled brat attitude of Grindelwald.

The tall brunette was also the best of friends with Doge and Dumbledore, two of Gellert’s least favorite persons in the world, which automatically placed her on the same list.

Hector Abernathy, a foreign student from the United States who rarely uttered a word, something that had sparked the rumor that he might be mute, looked back and forth between the two.

‟Might I remind you that I’m also tied to the department of Divination and that we literally crushed your team the year prior to last?” Gellert smoothly replied. ‟If the Dark Arts had won last year, I would have been on the winning team two years in a row. I must let the common folks win sometimes…”

Both he and Vinda looked smug at that point.

‟Won’t you shut up? I have a meeting with Umbridge at 2 and I would hate to be late.” Travers replied.

The Magical Law student always reported everything to their rectress, which apart from being annoying, was downright unhealthy.

Who wanted to spend time with that crazy woman by their free will, anyway?

Just as Gellert opened his mouth to throw something back at Travers and Doge, Albus Dumbledore, who had kept silent as of now, let out an annoyed sigh and placed the book he was reading down.

The latter was top of his class, majoring in Transfiguration and had a weird fashion sense. Today, he was wearing dark green jeans with a purple shirt and red shoes.

Everyone stared at the two geniuses, as it seemed another heated debate was about to go down between them.

You see, the thing was that Dumbledore and Grindelwald hated each other with a passion.

Their rivalry had even almost reached a legendary level at that point.

More often than not, the two could be seen arguing all over the campus grounds. Both Abernathy and Doge, used to stick by their respective friend, braced themselves for the epic discussion that was yet to come.

Surely enough, Gellert licked his lips, turned around with a nasty look on his elegant face and was about to snap something back at Albus, when he realized that everyone in the room was glaring at him. Even Vinda poked him in the ribs to show him to let it go for now.

Well, everyone was staring at him except Horace Slughorn, one of the university’s few Potions students, who was too busy checking the selling price of some obscure potion ingredients online than to partake in this heated argument.

Silenced for now, the blonde crossed his arms over his chest, placed one leg over the couch’s arm and propped the other against a writing desk as he leaned back in his seat; looking both handsome and murderous at the same time.

Abernathy, who hadn’t done much so far, gave a thumb up to Lockhart to warn him that all the arguing was over and that their meeting could on.

Of course, the latter, who had been too busy snapping yet again another selfie of himself, had been oblivious to what had been going on around him, which was classic Lockhart.

The pompous git giggled some more.‟I’m so sorry everyone! It would have been a crime if I hadn’t taken a picture of myself as soon as possible. My hair looks so luscious today,” he apologized as Minerva facepalmed and Travers groaned.

Lockhart smiled some more before he went on. Slughorn finally put his phone down.‟As you all know, the Muggle Studies have won last year’s integration week’s competition, which means we had the honor of picking this year’s activities.”

Albus and Elphias nodded at Lockhart’s words, while Travers glanced at his watch and groaned out of annoyance for the third time in the last five minutes.

‟Well, I’m pleased to tell you that we are going to spend a delightful week in a muggle inn. Of course, during our stay there, we will partake in some various and fun muggle activities. You are all responsible for promoting the event to your respective department, since I am way too busy to do so. Looking good takes a lot of my free time, you know!” Lockhart dazzled them with a smile and a wink, while Travers quickly got up and left the room.

Gellert and Vinda shared a look of boredom as the others all got up and left to return to their respective classes.

Soon enough, the two Dark Arts students were the only ones left with Lockhart. The latter seemed to be quite pleased by that fact…

‟You know, _Gellert,”_ the way Lockhart was insisting on the first syllable of his name made Gellert’s skin crawl as Vinda had some difficulty to stifle her laughter. ‟If we dated and ended up married, all of our initials would be “G”s. How cute would that be?”

Gellert shuddered at the thought, while Vinda was in stitches at his side.

Needless to say that the two quickly walked out of the room in order to get as far away from Lockhart as possible.

The thing was that Gellert didn’t like to be reminded of this story too much, but a few years ago, if Vinda hadn’t been there to save his sorry ass and to protect his reputation, he would have ended up pissed drunk and naked in Lockhart’s bed.

Since the incident, Lockhart, who had been less drunk than Gellert at the time, had some hope that a romance would blossom between the two and had declared more than once that after himself, Gellert was the most handsome guy on campus.

Which as long as Gellert was breathing and Vinda was by his side, was never going to occur!

As the two best friends headed out to lunch, Gellert pulled his phone out and rolled his eyes at Dumbledore’s reply to his latest tweet. Couldn’t that git understand how wrong he was?

∞

Everything had begun on Twitter, as usual.

Grindelwald had posted something dumb –to nobody’s surprise– and Albus had had no other choice but to answer something back. Unfortunately, like every other time, the characters allowed on this social media hadn’t been enough for them to express their opinion and to pursue their debate. They needed another way to argue and it was the sole reason why Albus had accepted to enter Grindelwald’s number in his phone’s repertory.

Which was why he was once more lying on his bed and debating with a dark wizard about the importance of the Statue of Secrecy.

Of course, Grindelwald had good arguments and Albus wanted to agree to everything he was saying; especially when the latter used such a charming tone.

Yet, Albus knew better than that. Grindelwald seemed to appreciate his opposition, even though he couldn’t help himself from teasing him from time to time.

“Albus! Dinner’s served!” His mother, Kendra, suddenly called from downstairs.

However, Albus was way too into what Grindelwald was saying to pay attention to her.

After all, their discussion was once more so interesting and Grindelwald’s voice was so appealing, even on the phone, that Albus continued to speak and speak as he answered Gellert’s arguments with his own.

Because of his passionate discussion with his nemesis, the redhead didn’t hear his mother call him for the second time in a row; which was why he was quite surprised when his bedroom door opened with way more violence than it was necessary and slammed into the wall.

Albus, startled, almost dropped his phone. Still in communication with Grindelwald, he tried to hide it, but he visibly failed because Aberforth rolled his eyes at him and said: “Come on! Mum is calling for you downstairs… Hey! Who are you talking to? Still the same dude?”

“ _No!_ No one!” Albus protested.

He could hear Gellert yell something back on the phone: “ _Excuse me?_ I am Gellert Grindelwald! Not a nobody!” but it didn’t last long because Albus briskly cut the line.

His face was so red at that point that it was competing with his hair.

“No one? Really?” Aberforth mocked him. “That’s why you have called him almost every day since we are back to school?”

“Why do you say “him”?” Albus stumbled. “It’s… it’s a girl! I was speaking with a girl!”

“Oh? A girl? Who is she? Your girlfriend? She had such a deep voice…” Aberforth smiled nastily at him. ‟ I hope I’ll get to see her at the integration week!”

Then, before Albus could have done anything to prevent it, Aberforth yelled: “Mom! Albus has a girlfriend!”

“Abe!” Albus shouted in return, while he ran after him as if they were children still.

Albus stumbled in the stairs behind Aberforth, since the latter stopped in the middle of his run to turn around and to face him: “I’m eagerly waiting for the day that you are going to present your bitch to mom. She is going to be ecstatic!” He sneered. “And I will laugh so much at you, you have no idea.”

And with that being said, Abe ran all the way downstairs and Albus followed him just as quickly.

When they arrived in the kitchen, Ariana and his mother were already installed at the table and ready to eat.

Kendra stared at her youngest son. “What did you say Abe? I didn’t hear you…”

“I said that Albus has finally a girlfriend, mum! Isn’t that great?”

“Aberforth! Stop this nonsense!” Albus protested again.

Why was his brother doing this? He was making him embarrassed and was laughing at his expense, the _idiot_! Yet, this wasn’t surprising: they had both been mocking each other since they were kids and since they didn’t get along very well back then, it was only natural that they had continued as adults.

Not that Albus was really considering his brother as an adult; but more like an irritating brat.

Unfortunately, this didn’t prevent his mother from listening to Aberforth’s silly remark.

“What? Did you finally confess your feelings to Minerva? The poor girl has probably been waiting after you for years!”

“Minerva? Oh Merlin, no!” Albus chocked on his saliva.

His mother had always wanted to pair them up since their first year at Hogwarts and she was without a doubt convinced that the two would end up married one day. Of course, she was utterly wrong: Minerva knew very well that Albus wasn’t interested in women and so did Elphias. The two were the only ones aware of this – without taking into account Aberforth, of course, who seemed to have a lot of suspicions about his brother's sexuality.

“Oh…” His mother said, visibly disappointed. “I hope the poor girl isn’t too sad about this. She has been running after you for so long now... Don’t be too distant with her now that you are dating someone else. Friends are still important…”

Albus was an inch away from eating his hat out of frustration.

Why was his mother like that?

Couldn’t she try to match Aberforth instead? Of course not, since she was counting on Albus to bring glory to their family.

She was way more lenient with her two other children.

“Mom! I’m seeing no one! Aberforth is saying stupid things to bother me, that’s all. I am way too busy to be dating.”

“So who were you talking to last night, then? I could hear you until late in the night!” Ariana chimed in. “I want to meet your girlfriend too, brother. I’m sure she is pretty and very smart!”

“I didn’t do such a thing, Ari. You must have been hallucinating voices...”

“If you don’t want to talk about it; it’s okay, Albus. But I don’t want to die without seeing you becoming a father. I want to be a grandma.” Kendra added as they all continued to eat their meal.

 _Oh… If you knew, mom, you would be so disappointed. I don’t plan on having any children; sorry!_ Albus thought. He didn’t answer anything back and simply glared daggers at Abe, who smirked at him in return _. I am going to kill you_ , he mouthed silently at his younger brother, who pulled his tongue out at him. Albus then discreetly looked at his phone, just to see at least three furious messages from Grindelwald who wasn’t happy to have been hang up on.

He didn’t have the time to answer him back though, since his mother saw him look at his phone.

“Albus. Put your infernal machine down! We are eating,” she ordered.

“Sorry mom.”

He was above twenty years old and yet, his mother was still treating him as if he was a child. It wasn’t the first time he had tried to break her rules either, but he had never managed to do so. For now. He decided to change the subject as quickly as possible:

“You are sure you want to drive us to the inn, mother? I mean… We could go there by our own means, you know.”

“No! I want to see where my children are going to spend the next week! You are a grown man, Albus, but Aberforth is still too young to be left alone.”

“I don’t want to go…” Aberforth mumbled. “Who wants to pass their time with such gits.”

“Aberforth! Don’t speak like that in front of your sister!”

“I can take your place if you want,” Ariana told Abe.

“Ariana, you are too young for this and I wouldn’t want you to be exposed to such people! I mean, there are even dark wizards who are coming to this event! I don’t even understand how they are all allowed to study this topic in the first place. It’s disgusting!”

“Don’t judge what you don’t know, Abe. The Dark Arts students may be a bit special, but they wouldn’t harm you, Ari.”

Kendra furrowed her brow.

She didn’t like to hear that her children were around people who practiced such sinister magic. Fortunately, Albus was in Transfiguration.

“Be careful, Albus. It’s not good to spend time with such shady wizards. Your future depends on it.”

“And that’s you that say this?! Don’t you have a rivalry with this insufferable asshole… Grindaweld or something? He is bad news, isn’t he? I’ve heard that he has caused a lot of problems last years, or so it would appear...”

“Grindelwald.”

“What?”

“It’s Grindelwald. Not Grindaweld,” Albus corrected his little brother as he felt his cheeks burn under Aberforth’s inquisitive gaze.

His secret really was not the best guarded ever…

∞

Albus didn’t like cars. He didn’t like brooms either, to be honest, but cars were really despicable in his mind. He didn’t know why. After all, it wasn’t as if he would die from a collision: security spells had been disposed on the vehicle; yet, he just didn’t like it. Which was why he had been surprised when his mother had announced him that she had taken driving lessons and that a few months later, she had obtained her muggle license.

Why would one want to drive when one could apparate at will?

In reality, she had done so for Ariana. A praiseworthy attention, really, but it didn’t mean that she needed to drive them – Aberforth and himself – to the inn.

The place was lost in the forest and was run by muggles, but still; Albus had not managed to convince her not to do so.

 _She is driving way too slowly,_ Albus thought as he looked at the boring landscape. At least, he was sitting in the front seat, despite Aberforth’s angry protests.

His mother was speaking about nothing in particular and he wasn’t really listening to her, and neither was his brother, when a motocycle overtook them at a brisk path.

The driver drove for sure way above the speed limit.

His mother groaned and beeped at it. “Some people are careless, I swear!”

In answer, the passenger of the motorcycle showed her his middle finger.

Albus saw his mother’s eyes grow wild in a flash. If there was something that Kendra wasn’t accepting in life; it was this type of behavior from others. Being polite was very important to her, which was why she had raised her children with strict rules.

“Merlin! What a rude driver! If only I had them in front of me… Do you know who they are, Albus?”

“I’m sure they are dark wizards! Who would act like that except for those jerks?” Aberforth intervened. “They are walking on the campus as if they owned the place all the time. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if they were doing the same on the road...”

Since they had helmets on, it was difficult to see who those two truly were, but Albus had the strange impression that he knew who those savages were.

And it wasn’t at all because he had recognized the passenger’s ass instead of the vehicle.

No, of course not.

But it wasn’t Albus’s fault: he had battled against Vinda and Gellert for so long now, that he had had to look at those two more often than not.

Which was why he was able to recognize Gellert’s ass everywhere by now.

To be honest, it was such a nice ass to stare at too…

“I don’t. Why would I? There are a lot of people who are going to the integration week. Maybe it’s not even students we just saw…”

Now, Albus really needed to pray that he would never assist to a meeting between his mother and Vinda and Gellert, because it would definitively cause a few sparks to fly.

∞

Albus was sure he was in a grade B movie, when twenty minutes later, his mother finally stopped her car in front of the inn where the integration week was being held. Of course, as Minerva had suspected and had told him all along, the place looked horrible and nothing like the pictures on the advertisement Gilderoy Lockhart had sent them to promote the event two weeks ago.

The grass in front of the inn hadn’t been cut for at least the last three months, the name plastered on the front of the establishment was missing at least half of its letters and some windows were broken as birds were freely flying in and out from them.

It truly was a charming sight…

As Albus studied the outside of the inn some more and wondered if he truly wanted to sleep in there for the next few nights and risk to catch the plague or some old ass deadly disease no one even remembered these days,he saw out of the corner of his eyes that the motorcycle that had passed them earlier on the road was parked a little farther on the right of his mother’s car.

His first reflex was to secretly pray Merlin (and Morgana while he was at it), that his mother wouldn’t spot the vehicle just now and be the cause of a new wizarding war. He really wasn’t ready to pick a side and to fight right now.

Luckily, Kendra was too busy telling Abe for the tenth time that he needed to shower every day if he wanted to make new friends and that she had packed a few extra pairs of underwear and of socks for him just in case, when the passenger of the motorcycle stepped down from it.

Of course, it was exactly when Albus was ogling the said passenger that the tall lanky boy pulled his helmet off and revealed his trademark golden curls, which confirmed to him that it was none other than Gellert Grindelwald who had flipped his finger at his mom.

Even better…

For a moment, Albus felt as though time had stopped as if someone had been playing with a time-turner, when the driver, who without surprise proved to be Gellert’s shadow, Vinda Rosier, handed the tall blonde a water bottle that the latter simply poured over his head.

To what purpose, Albus couldn’t say because it wasn’t that hot today, but the temperature in the car had clearly suddenly risen…

You see, Albus’ biggest problem in the last few years hadn’t simply been that Grindelwald was a git, a real pain in everyone’s ass and his enemy.

It would have been way too simple...

No, the problem was that he found Grindelwald extremely attractive.

And not just the 'damn he looks hot' kind of attractive, but more like the 'you are going to star in my next wet dream' kind of attractive.

In short, Albus was doomed…

His mouth went instantly dry and he wondered if he wasn’t drooling, when his mother snapped her fingers in front of his face and woke him from his trance.

‟Albus, have you been listening to what I’ve just said?” Kendra asked and by the tone of her voice, the redhead could tell that she probably had told him the same thing at least five times already.

‟Eh-” he began, as his brother Abe, who was sitting in the backseat, stared at him suspiciously before he too looked outside. His expression changed as he saw Vinda and Gellert and something seemed to click in place into his brain (an ill omen if there ever had been one).

‟So that’s the bitch you’ve spent all of your time on the phone with for the last few weeks?”

Their mother frowned as she too looked outside and spotted the gorgeous duo. Of course, she recognized who they were soon enough and seemed to be wanting to talk some sense into them.

‟Albus Brian Wulfric Percival Dumbledore! Don’t tell me this girl right there is your girlfriend? I’ll go out and tell those two exactly what I think,” she threatened as she struggled to unfasten her seat belt.

Aberforth had a nasty grin on his face and was about to say something else, when the bus that had been carrying all of the first years stopped behind Kendra’s car and blocked their view, like an answer to Albus’ prayers.

Abe suddenly panicked and asked their mother to leave (yet, she still managed to get a kiss on her cheek from both of them), before she ruined his chance of ever making friends during the week. Albus all but launched himself out of the car as thunder could be heard rumbling over his head and he rushed inside the inn to meet his best friend Minerva, who eyed him suspiciously as soon as he stepped in the building.

‟What is it?”She asked as he tried to seem casual, but of course she saw right through him and her frown deepened some more.

‟What? My mum didn’t want to leave and it was awkward. I mean I’m 21…” he feebly replied as he stared around the lobby and avoided his friend’s inquiring gaze.

The decoration of the inn surely dated back from 2000 B.C. and the air smelled like a curious mix of dead flowers and mildew.

‟Don’t lie to me. Did something else happen with Grindelwald?”

Albus grew a deep shade of red, which didn’t look good at all with his hair,and cleared his throat. ‟Have you seen this painting? It’s fascinating, truly.”

‟It’s a bowl of fruits and it isn’t even well executed. In fact this place isn’t-”

But Minerva rolled her eyes as Albus managed to avoid her questions once more as he smiled at her and walked up to the inn’s front desk, behind which a smelly overweight middle-aged woman with sparse black hair and a giant wart on her face was busy listening to her favorite TV show on her computer.

‟Can we get our rooms please?” Albus asked politely as Minerva walked up to him.

‟It’s not even 4 o’clock! Where do you think you are, young man? The Ritz-Carlton ?”The woman wiped her runny nose on her forearm. ‟Like I’ve said to the others, y’all should wait in the common room until my brother Jolan comes to fetch you.”

Albus shared a glance with Minerva as they both silently thanked the woman, who was already back to watching her show.

Why had they agreed to come to this place already?

∞

‟And that’s how you play this game of Mopoly,” Gilderoy Lockhart declared before he winked at everyone who was present in the inn’s common room. Rain was pouring outside, preventing them from leaving the dreadful building, as the weird and disgusting smell that seemed to float around the place was still following them around.

Truth be told, the common room smelt like cat pee instead of dead flowers, which made it even worse and harder to breathe.

The only person who didn’t seem to be too bothered by that smell was Abe, but he certainly wasn’t a reference in the matter, since he smelled like goat’s poo most of the time.

It would have been quite simple to use a spell to make the stench go away, and Vinda had suggested they do so for a while now, but since they weren’t supposed to use magic during their stay, no one had done so yet. The fact Travers was staring at everyone and taking notes now and then on a pad, made it easy to understand that he was going to be the rectress’, Dolores Umbridge, eyes during the next few days and no one wanted to be stuck in that bitch’s office ever again.

Her detentions were truly the worst by far.

‟It says Monopoly on the box…” Minerva commented as Gilderoy all but simply ignored her. The latter had already moved on to something else and was pulling a duck face as he snapped a new selfie of himself in front of the inn’s soot-stained hearth.

A group of random first years was staring at Lockhart dreamily, while Tom Riddle, a Dark Arts first year student, was busy doodling snakes and skulls in one of his notebooks. It was still a mystery as to why he had decided to come to this week’s activities, since it seemed that he was way more interested in designing his future tattoo than in anything else.

‟Who wants to play that muggle game?” Elphias asked as no one made a move to sit closer to the game he had placed on a wonky table.

The first years for whom these activities had been organized in the first place didn’t seem very interested by it all either. Aberforth was staring outside at the rain, while Sybill Trewlaney was frowning and sighing dramatically every minute or so.

She had declared earlier that horrible things would happen during the game and because of her vision, she didn’t want to partake in it.

This sounded like a terrible excuse for not playing, but they weren’t going to force her hand either.

Truth be told, winning those activities was crucial for each department, since the association who would get the most win at the end of the week would be the one who would pick next years’ activities.

Finally, Abernathy shrugged, sat down and picked one of the game’s token, before he placed it on the board. Minerva grabbed the rules’ booklet that was still inside the box and tried to figure out the inner mechanics of the game, as Rita Skeeter, a Muggle Studies student sat down to play too.

She had probably figured out that she would be able to pick up more gossips for the uni’s newspaper by joining the game, than by remaining with Lockhart and his fan club of giggling girls.

‟Do you mind if I do this one, V? A game where the player who collects the most money wins sounds right up my alley…” Gellert declared with a smug look on his face as he weirdly sat in front of the board too and Vinda handed him one of the tokens.

‟I’ll play for the Care for Magical Creatures department, since no one from it seems to want to play,”Albus said as he glared at his brother (who couldn’t care less about it), sat in front of his enemy and picked a token too.

‟Don’t worry lads, I’ll be gentle with you…” Gellert said as he leaned so much toward the board it seemed as though he was about to topple down from his chair, but somehow managed to remain seated. Another mystery...

“Gross! I really don’t like the image at all,” Elphias commented as he shuddered.

Albus rolled his eyes and Minerva clicked her tongue, something she did when she was annoyed, as she handed every player the money they needed to begin their game.

Horace Slughorn cracked his knuckles before he sat down too. It seemed seeing all that fake money had dragged him toward the game board too.‟May the best association win.”

∞

‟That’ll be a grand total of 1 675$ for stepping on my propriety,” Elphias declared with a smug look on his face as Gellert knocked his fist on the table.

‟For stepping two seconds on your damn lawn? How am I supposed to pay when I ended up in prison every turn?”

Minerva sighed some more. The game had been going on for the last two hours and she was more than done with it. ‟That’s how the game works, Grindelwald. Either you pay or you lose.”

Abernathy, who had stopped playing about an hour ago, nodded as Albus rubbed the bridge of his nose out of annoyance.‟ Just admit it, you’ve lost and Elphias won.”

Upon hearing those words, Gellert seemed to flip a switch. If there was someone he hated more than anything in this room, it was Doge. Vinda was fairly sure there was something behind all that hate, but now was not the time to comment on it, since drama was definitively going down.

‟OWWWW!” Elphias all but yelled as a token suddenly flew from the board and hit him in the middle of the forehead with surprising force.

‟Who used wandless magic? You know what Umbridge said,” Travers declared, red in the face with anger. How could one not respect their rectress’ order seemed to be a rather difficult concept for him to grasp.

Lockhart was still taking pictures in the back of the room and was winking and smiling some more as Bertille, one of the inn’s owners, who had come to tell them that their rooms were finally ready, had joined his giggling fan club.

‟Stop being such a sore loser!” Albus said out of desperation as Gellert gaped at him.

‟Scheiße, why do you need to be such a dick all the time?”Gellert retorted before he flipped the table, dramatically stood up, walked out of the common room and slammed the door shut behind him as both Vinda and Abernathy followed in his lead.

Slughorn let out a nervous cough. He placed the in-game money he had stuffed in his pockets back into the game’s box as Elphias rubbed the angry red mark that was already appearing on his forehead.

‟See, I told you horrible things would go down,” Trewlaney added dramatically as Albus sighed out loud.

This week was already proving to be a real pain in the ass. And it was only the beginning...

∞

Albus would have preferred to share his room with Elphias for obvious reasons; but no, the inn’s owners had decided to do the sleeping arrangements without consulting anyone beforehand.

The two owners had decided that the boys were going to share their rooms with other boys, while the girls would be paired up together; stating that that way, they would prevent couples from doing unholy things with each other.

Gellert had commented that doing unholy things with boys was his specialty, but the owners hadn’t seem to understand just what exactly he had been on about.

Which was why Elphias was rooming with Abernathy – who at least would be calm since he wasn’t speaking a lot – and Albus had to cohabitate with another student for the next few days.

“Don’t worry… I’m sure they will put you with a good guy. And who knows, maybe he could tempt you; if you know what I mean…”

“Elphias… Don’t be stupid,” Albus chuckled.

But when he opened his bedroom’s door he stopped chuckling and had only one instinctive reaction:

“You!”

“What are you doing here?” Grindelwald retorted back, seeming as shocked as him.

The blonde was lounging on the middle of the bed that was placed against the back wall of the room with his smartphone in his hands. All Seer he claimed to be; it was clear that he had not Seen Albus’ arrival.

The surprise on his face was a sure proof of it. He had probably guessed he would be alone in the room and had certainly already texted Vinda, who was rooming with McGonagall, to come over.

“Grindelwald…”

“What exactly are you doing here?”

“The owners placed me in this bedroom…”

Grindelwald sighed dramatically before he threw his phone on the bed carelessly and placed his hands behind his head.

Albus understood immediately what was going on: it was karma for all the dirty thoughts he had entertained about Grindelwald for the last few weeks.

Of course, he had to be paired with a dark wizard. D _amn muggles!_ _  
_

“Baba Yaga; that’s all I needed! I swear if I have to support Doge’s presence around here I’m going to riot. There’s no fucking way this yokel is staying here.”

Elphias was about to answer something, but Albus was quicker: "If Elphias can’t come in here, then Rosier won’t put a foot in here either! I swear it on my brother's pet goat Blanchette’s head!”

“Because you think V would like to be in the same room as you? Don’t think too highly of yourself, ginger!”

The two looked daggers at each other.

Meanwhile, Elphias found the situation quite uncomfortable, especially when Grindelwald seemed to be on the edge of badly cursing him, since he had pulled his wand out of his boot. He had never understood why the dark wizard hated him so much. Since the first time they had met, the blonde had taken a dislike to him and it had only grown with time.

“Hum… I think I’m going to leave you two alone. If you have a problem, Al, text me, okay?”

“Yes, leave us alone… You wouldn’t want to be a dead weight to your bro if we duel, right?”

“Don’t speak to him like that!” Albus protested, while Elphias simply fled out of the room.

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

“I don’t want to share my room with you either, _Goldilocks_! I’m going downstairs this instant to ask for another room!”

“What? You mean that you are so afraid of me that you don’t want to be in the same room as I? Believe me, I’m not happy about it either. I mean, someone who says such stupid things on Twitter can’t be that interesting in real life…”

“Oh, so that’s only now that you feel the need to tell me this; when you called me and button held me for at least four hours every call?”

“What? It’s you who called me the last time because you thought that my tweet was “utter crap”!”

Albus was tempted to retort back, but knew perfectly well that Grindelwald revealed in their conflict.

The guy was always searching for a reason to confront him anyway. However, today, Albus wasn’t going to give the latter what he wanted.

Especially not after he had flipped his middle finger at his mother…

“Okay, stop. Never mind. We still have a problem. There is only one bed in this room.”

“And?”

“And I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“Don’t worry, Dumbledore. I’m not going to jump on you! You are not my type anyway.” Grindelwald sneered. “And we are both responsible adults too. We can sleep in the same bed without any problems, don’t you think?”

Albus rolled his eyes and put his bag next to the bedside table. This inn was really shabby and the decorations didn’t help, with the scene of witches’ trials painted here and there on the walls. Grindelwald did seem to mind them though, since he had enchanted them to change the scenery. Indeed, at the end of each animation, the witch was burning the inquisitor alive.

For a second, Albus thought about saying something about it – it was a muggle establishment, after all – but in the end didn’t.

“As if I wanted to be your type, Grindelwald. Don’t take your dreams for reality.”

“Everyone wants to be my type, it’s just that they don’t want to acknowledge it. You are just way too proud for that.”

“You sound just as full of yourself as Lockhart, you know?”

Albus knew where to hit. After all, he had discovered that Lockhart had tried to sleep with the dark wizard during their first year, and since then, Grindelwald had developed an aversion for the latter.

Not that Albus was really interested in what Gellert was doing or who he was sleeping with, _of course_. He had just learned that fact by chance, because he had looked at Vinda’s Instagram feed on a few occasions.

If he had found pictures of Gellert wearing booty shorts at last year’s pride and had saved them on his phone, it was solely for blackmailing purpose too.

“Oh please no… Not that prick!” There was an awkward silence before he went on. “That was a low blow, _Dumby_.”

“You deserved it, _Grindy_.”

It was Grindelwald’s turn to roll his eyes. Of course, the latter wouldn’t believe he deserved so much hate.

He was way too incredible for this, for sure – or at least he thought so.

If Albus had difficulties to accept the idea of Lockhart and Grindelwald together; it was for Lockhart’s sake of course, since the latter would probably end up being sacrificed on an altar by his 'boyfriend' during a full moon.

“Anyway, from now on and for a week, we are roommates,” Grindelwald declared with a little smirk.

Albus could already predict the numerous problems this particular situation would cause.

Especially when there was only one bed.


	2. The hottest ass on campus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are baaaaack...
> 
> Please note that English is not our first language...

∞∞‟Are you seriously using wandless magic just to brush your teeth? Do I need to remind you that we are in a muggle establishment, that Umbridge has warned us not to use our magic during our stay here and that Travers is literally living just to find out that we did so anyway?”

Gellert rolled his eyes at his enemy as he continued to type on his phone and paced around their tiny room, the uneven floor creaking with each of his steps, as his toothbrush continued its cleaning motion. He made a rude gesture in Albus’ direction, something he seemed to enjoy doing quite often lately, before he walked back into the tiny restroom.

Clearly, he was lacking any sense of proportion when it came to offenses…

Albus, still unhappy about the fact that he was supposed to share his room with Gellert, finished texting his mom to tell her that everything was fine (after all, she had dropped him and Aberforth at the inn roughly ten hours ago) and that she didn’t need to call him tonight; just as Gellert left the restroom wearing nothing else than a tight pair of black boxer briefs.

 _Fuck I’m gay_ , was Albus’ only thought as he tried to keep his composure, when all he could see was Gellert’s lanky body, complete with sharp angles, smooth creamy skin, a toned belly and a faint happy trail of blonde hair.

Merlin himself only knew by now how Albus was really trying his best not to stare at his enemy’s gorgeous body; which probably was the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life.

Why did the gods have to put him in this situation? What had he done to anger them that much?

The redhead had managed to repress his attraction almost entirely before this moment; but now? It was as if his fantasies were happening in front of him all of the damn time. All that was lacking to recreate his most recent wet dream was for Gellert to pull a pair of funky looking high socks from his bag…

Fortunately (and bless Morgana for that), he was pretty sure that Gellert 'Emo' Grindelwald didn’t own this kind of clothing accessory in the first place.

‟It took you a lifetime in there. I hope you’ve left me some hot water,” Albus snapped, as he wondered who he was kidding really, since a cold shower was what he desperately needed right now to clear his lusty mind.

‟It’s not my fault if a fucking acromantula tried to kill me while I was in there!”

Fairly sure he was sweating, blushing and drooling at this point, Albus all but bolted to the restroom as Gellert muttered something about him being an _ameisentätowierer_ _;_ whatever that meant.

The redhead quickly slammed the door and let himself slide to the floor against it, spotting a tiny spider on the mismatched (and very dirty) floor tiles as he did so.

Well, so much for an acromantula.

He placed his hands on his face and sighed loudly.

How was he going to sleep in the same bed as the dark wizard now?

***

When Albus left the restroom thirty minutes later, the lights were out in the tiny room and Gellert was already under the covers, which made him sigh with relief. He secretly wished that the blonde was already sleeping and that they would not have to talk or anything else tonight, but he soon spotted the faint light of Gellert’s phone in the dark.

The latter quirked an eyebrow at him.‟ Won’t you feel hot if you sleep with those on?”

Albus looked at his long-sleeved pajamas, a yellow and purple wool mess and wished he had brought his star patterned dressing gown to go over it, just to add another layer in between him and Gellert when they would be sharing the same bed. ‟Of course not.”

‟Well I would. I usually sleep naked, ” Gellert commented as Albus’ brain all but shut down upon hearing those words.

Getting back to the restroom wasn’t an option now as the redhead quickly decided to busy himself with everything and anything. He plugged his phone to charge it over the night; he took the time to fold his dirty clothes. He even stared at an ugly painting that was hanging on the wall close to the door for a good five minutes or so...

Finally, after a while, he wasn’t sure if Gellert’s eyes were lingering on him still or not, but he had run out of distraction and had no other choice than to get to bed.

Of course, the bed wasn’t a king sized bed either... It would have been way too practical!

 _No,_ it was a small double bed.

In fact, Albus wasn’t even sure if it wasn’t just a modified twin bed at this point.

As he slipped under the covers, his shoulder bumped into Gellert’s, who groaned.

The mattress was hard and smelly and there probably were a ton of suspicious looking stains on the sheets. Plus, every time either of them breathed, the springs squeaked.

This really was getting from bad to worse…

 _Obviously_ , Gellert thought the squeaking was hilarious and made the mattress squeak with his foot as if a couple was in the throes of some frantic lovemaking, which didn’t help Albus’ mind to get out of the gutter at all.

He slapped the blonde when the next room neighbor slammed into the wall to tell them to tone it down and Gellert all but yelled ‟HARDER GEORGE, HARDER” in reply before he burst out laughing and Albus was fairly sure that he would spontaneously combust before the end of the night.

A few minutes later, he tried to remember how to breathe as Gellert’s foot suddenly touched his thigh when he rolled on his left side.

This night was going to be so long…

Albus could hear Gellert’s regular breathing and feel his body heat through his clothes. He, who was usually always so cold, was feeling like a boiling dragon egg right now.

Then, as the hours passed, he felt longing for his nemesis as his mind kept focussing on the latter. He didn’t know at this point if the blonde was sleeping or awake; if he had fallen asleep too or not or if it had been hours or minutes that they had been lying in the same bed, way too close to each other.

He had finally managed to close his eyes, when he felt the weight shift on the mattress and opened them just in time to see that Gellert’s face was barely an inch from his own.

In one swift movement, Gellert climbed on top of him and straddled him.

Albus wanted to protest or something, but couldn’t manage to muster a word as Gellert licked his lips and leaned down toward him. Albus could even feel his hot breath on his skin as the dark wizard finally crushed his lips against his and Albus’ world shattered.

Gellert was already panting as he pulled back. ‟I can’t keep this a secret anymore! I want you _so_ bad Albus Brian Wulfric Percival Dumbledore, that my impressive vocabulary isn’t complex enough to put it into better words!”

Albus didn’t know by now how Gellert had found out all of his names, which he had to admit was slightly odd, but his brain had all but stopped working for a second time tonight as Gellert suddenly grabbed the hem of his pajamas and literally tore it up in his haste to get him naked, sending buttons flying everywhere across the room.

‟You were absolutely right and your last tweet was genius. I’m hot for your auburn hair and the sight of your freckled skin literally gets me hard,” Gellert throatily added as he grabbed both of Albus’ hands and placed them on his glorious butt.

 _DSVNDVBRIJEVDMWQEVWGVQ_ , was all Albus’ mind could muster as he couldn’t believe he was finally grabbing the hottest ass on campus with both hands.

Gellert then sucked on his upper lip in a very sensual way and Albus was literally melting as he could feel the blonde’s long eyelashes tickle the sensible skin of his neck. He was living; he was-

With a shock, he woke up only to discover that a ginormous hairy spider as big as both of his hands was casually walking over his face.

He let out an unmanly scream as he grabbed his wand and hexed the bug, sending it flying into the room. He then sat up in the bed only to discover that the sun was already up, that he was still wearing his long pajamas and that Gellert wasn’t straddling him, but was in fact fully clothed and busy applying his eyeliner on the other side of the room

‟I told you there was an acromantula in our room,” he said as Albus leaned back down on the hard smelly mattress and rubbed his eyes.

This was just a damn dream…

His whole body was aching because he had slept on the edge of the bed during the whole night, his mouth was dry because he had probably drooled while he was dreaming and he had used his wand when they weren’t even supposed to use magic in the first place.

He still had four nights to go until this hell of a week was over and he wasn’t sure he was going to survive it.

Not sure at all.

***

‟What did he do this time around?” Minerva asked with concern in her voice as Albus sat down with her and Elphias an hour later at breakfast.

The meal graciously offered by the inn looked absolutely disgusting. Cold toasts, tea that tasted more like water than anything else (although Gellert had argued that tea always tasted like water anyway), watery eggs and strange looking sausages were part of the menu.

Albus wasn’t the most difficult when it came to food, but this was too much. Even for him and his legendary British politeness.

No one seemed to find the food to their liking; except Lockhart, who had been served a real English breakfast by Bertille, one of the owners, who really seemed to have a soft spot for him.

‟Nothing, why?” Albus replied as he tried to look as normal as possible; considering that he had almost been killed by a spider earlier this morning and had probably slept a total of two hours during which he had dreamt he was making out with his enemy with whom he was sharing a bed for the rest of the week.

Just another casual day in Albus Dumbledore's life…

‟You don’t look good,” Elphias added before he scratched the back of his head and coughed; something he did when he was feeling nervous. ‟You know, when I said your roommate could tempt you, I was joking. ”

Albus sighed. His best friend could be quite dense sometimes…

***

‟ _Well_ , we were supposed to do a race in the lake surrounding the inn today, but since it’s still raining and thunder is roaring outside…”Gilderoy Lockhart began to explain, before everyone groaned out loud and he decided to get back to his selfies instead.

It was way more rewarding anyway…

Slughorn had declared that he was feeling sick this morning and was still in bed, while two first years had already called their parents to come and pick them up.

So far, this integration week seemed to be the worst to have ever happened in the uni’s history and considering there was some challenge for that title; given how the one organized by the Dark Arts department had ended several years ago, it truly didn’t bode well for the rest of the event…

‟If we simply used magic, it could be fixed in a flash,” Vinda declared as she sat down on a window sill and looked gloomily at the falling rain.

Travers seemed aggravated once more.‟Do I really need to remind you that Umbridge has told us not to use magic, or-?”

‟Or shut the fuck up Travers,” Gellert replied from the worn out couch he was sitting upside-down on as he was painting his nails.

How he was managing to do so without spilling his nail polish probably was the result of dark magic; there was no other logical explication for it…

Albus glared at the blonde as he rubbed his forehead. He could feel a headache coming due to his lack of sleep; all thanks to the latter and his tight little ass.‟Why don’t _you_ shut up, blondie?”

‟Guys, guys. We don’t need to argue once more! Surely, we can do something else.” Elphias, always one to avoid conflicts, added as he began to look around the inn’s common room in search of something they could do to pass the time before someone murdered another.

There was an old cathodic TV in one of the corners of the room, but it didn’t seem to be functional anymore-or so a muggle couple, who for an obscure reason was spending their vacation at the inn for fun, had said earlier.

Close to the hearth, Lockhart was in deep talk with Bertille and his fan club, to whom he was explaining the A to Z of his complicated hair care routine, when Abernathy, who was looking around with Elphias, pulled a surprisingly recent looking box from underneath a box full of mixed card games.

It was covered with dust, since it probably hadn’t been used for a while, and didn’t look at all interesting ; until Elphias spotted the game's name and let out a loud scream of victory. ‟Oh, a Karaoke game! It’s my aunt’s favorite! I play with her all the time. You’ll see how fun it is!”

 _Fuck!_ Albus and Minerva thought at the same time as they stared at each other with panic and Abernathy gulped loudly.

‟It’s a very popular muggle party game too, isn’t it, _Bertille?”_ Lockhart asked as he flashed the owner of the inn a dazzling smile that made her giggle like a school girl and her wart jiggle.

‟What’s Karaoke? ” Rita Skeeter, a first year, asked in the background as Elphias effectively inserted the Karaoke game’s DVD in the TV’s DVD reader.

He had to use a spell to make the TV work and managed to do so without Travers seeing him, which showed how addicted he was to this ridiculous muggle game.

As a loud pop song began to play, Gellert shuddered in the background. If there was one thing he was allergic to, it was pop music.

It didn’t suit his aesthetic…

‟The best singer will earn today’s point for his association,” Lockhart declared as he picked the microphone.‟ I’m dedicating this song to my future boyfriend, Gellert Grindelwald.”

Gellert sighed even more loudly and facepalmed at this as Lockhart began to sing _Like a Virgin_. The ridiculousness of the song aside, Gilderoy was surprisingly good at it, smiling and dancing all along.

‟ _Hoo, Like a virgin, touched for the very first time,”_ Lockhart intoned as he winked saucily in Gellert’s direction as the latter shuddered and was pretty sure he was going to throw up his breakfast if Lockhart's performance didn’t end soon.

Vinda, ever the best friend, was filming all of it with her phone for blackmailing purpose, of course.

Lockhart’s fan club and Bertille, their newest member,were drooling and cheering at their icon. Suddenly, close to the end of the song, Lockhart’s perfect voice broke down as the blonde’s lips continued to move soundlessly.

‟He’s lip syncing!” Skeeter all but yelled as she excitedly picked her notebook and began to scribble in it.

This would probably end up in the uni’s newspaper’s front page or something.

Travers seemed aggravated as he began to write a long letter to Umbridge, since he was fairly sure Lockhart had used magic during his performance.

 _Maybe the week will be cut short_ , Albus thought hopefully as the song ended.

Elphias went next as Lockhart shrugged and his fan club, who had already forgotten how of a fraud he truly was, was already gushing around him.

‟Gell, _pourquoi tu t’essaies pas_? ”Vinda asked her best friend as Doge was singing _Wannabe_ as well as a yelling mandrake in the background.

Gellert shrugged. ‟I don’t know the lyrics of any of those popular pop songs.”

‟Says the guy who sings Lady Gaga in his shower…”She muttered under her breath as Gellert glared at her.

‟V, we do not talk about those things. Ever. Or I will have to reveal your secret passion for Katy Perry and neither of us would like that.”

They both agreed to drop the matter in the end.

Finally, Elphias’ song ended and Albus went next. Unsurprisingly, he picked a Taylor Swift song, since she was by far his favorite singer.

It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.

Then, Abernathy, who no one had ever heard talking before, went up front next to the old TV and interpreted a flawless ‟My Way” by Frank Sinatra that almost brought tears to Minerva’s eyes who wondered if she was PMS-ing or something.

It seemed they might already have a winner, since neither Vinda nor Gellert seemed to be interested in participating to the event as they claimed the Dark Arts would win tomorrow’s game instead.

‟Abe, you should maybe play this time around so your department might actually have a chance to win…” Albus said to his brother, who had remained in his corner so far.

‟If you force me to, I’ll call mum and I’ll tell her that you are in the same room as Grindelwald,” he replied. As if to add more power to his words, he pulled his phone out, his finger an inch from fast dialing Kendra.

‟You wouldn’t!” Albus said as he shook his head violently. ‟Think about it: it would ruin your social life.”

‟Singing along to _Dancing Queen_ is going to kill it way faster,” Aberforth added, as Elphias began to sing horribly the said song in the background all for fun, since the competition was over.

Albus had to agree with his little brother: if he had to listen to Elphias sing like this for another five minutes or so, he would probably lose his mind completely, as Minerva sighed out loud and looked at him helplessly from the other side of the room.

How could they possibly shut their friend up?

Grindelwald seemed to be on the verge of cutting his wrists open, but was still standing. Yet, it was probably a question of seconds before he would flip a switch and Crucio Elphias on the spot.

Suddenly, Vinda, like a true savior, thought about a way out of this torture. ‟Where are Riddle and Trelawney?”

Minerva picked up on this like a drowning man to a swim aid. ‟It’s already been an hour since they went outside…Do you think something bad could have happened to them?”

Gellert rolled his eyes. ‟Please McGonagall, it’s Sybill Trewlaney we are talking about. Of course those two didn’t go outside to make out. Riddle has probably decided to kill her or something.”

Minerva all but gagged. ‟Thank you for the unwanted mental images.”

‟My pleasure,” the blonde replied as Minerva and Albus left the room in order to go outside and find the missing first years.

Elphias, unaware of the small commotion that was occurring around him, kept on screaming in the little microphone with Abernathy.

‟Come on Gell, we are going too.” Vinda said as Gellert nodded.

***

Gellert could understand why Riddle had fled the common room during one of Elphias’ performance. Truth be told, he would have done the same thing if he hadn’t taken it down as a challenge to his own resistance to see how long he could survive to Doge’s voice without hexing anyone.

This didn’t excuse the fact that they now had to find those two, though .

The silly dark wizard had chosen to wander in the forest and Trelawney – that pathetic clown – had decided to follow him, probably to guard him from doing some evil deeds or something.

As soon as they were outside, Gellert proposed that they should let the two missing first years find their own way back to the inn, but McGonagall and Dumbledore hadn’t agreed with him (as was to be expected).

Trelawney and Riddle were adults, for fuck’s sake! Plus, Gellert was pretty sure that the latter was skilled with wandless magic and he didn’t care for that Seer fraud all that much anyway.

Deaf to his suggestions, Minerva and Vinda had decided to go their own way to find the students, while he was supposed to go in another with Dumbledore.

Well, it wasn’t truly Minerva’s decision to begin with. Vinda had all but dragged the bespectacled witch with her for absolutely no reason and the two had suddenly disappeared between the trees, leaving the two enemies together.

The two boys were now in front of the inn’s lake, where they should have spent their day to begin with.

Albus checked his phone, to check if there was any news from the missing first years, but he hadn’t received anything. This wasn’t surprising though since there practically was no network around here.

It was already a true miracle that they had some in the inn to begin with

Albus chose that exact moment to turn around to tell Grindelwald they should get a move on and go and find the others; yet, was stunned into silence by the sight he wasn’t prepared to see.

Right in front of his eyes, Gellert Grindelwald was taking his clothes off.

_All_ of his clothes off.

And Albus wasn’t dreaming this time around…

He stood motionless and gaped as the dark wizard began to remove his pants, since he was already shirtless.

It wasn’t until the latter had placed his fingers at the hem of his boxer that Albus finally reacted – even if he wouldn’t have been sad to see what was hiding behind them to begin with...

“What in Merlin’s name do you think you are doing?” He stuttered dumbly.

“A midnight bath; what else? What do you think I’m doing? I was deprived of the trip to the lake this afternoon and now that it’s not raining; you can count on me to make up for it.”

When Gellert removed his undergarment, Albus couldn’t help but stare at the blonde's butt.

 _Would he like mine too_?, Albus thought as he wondered if he wasn’t dreaming.

In fact, he doubted that fact so much that he almost slapped himself just to make sure of it. Then, he somehow managed to look away from the beauty spots that were sprinkled on Grindelwald’s perfect skin.

As he did so, he noticed that the blonde had a tattoo on his lower back. It didn’t take him too long to recognise what it was.

The Deathly Hallows’ symbol.

It was a bit stylized, of course, because Gellert was way too extra not to do so, and Albus liked it very much.

For a second, he even wondered what it would feel like to put his lips on it and to map out the lines of the said tattoo with his tongue…

 _Merlin’s scrawny ass,_ he really needed to cool down. And the quicker the better.

“But we… We have to find the two first years!”he heard himself feebly say.

“Nonsense! Tom Riddle is powerful enough to survive a few more minutes alone in the woods, and Trelawney is useless anyway. If something happens to her, it won’t be a tragedy.”

“But, she is a nice girl…”

“That’s what people say when they don’t find something better to describe someone… Come on, Dumbledore! Let's have some fun.” Gellert rolled his eyes at him before he jumped into the cold water; emerging a few seconds later and looking hotter than ever.

Now that Albus thought about it, the water had to be quite cold, right?

Maybe it would be a good idea to cool off too, you know?

The redhead all but tried to justify his actions as he began to take his clothes off and tried to hide the fact that he only wanted to jump into the lake to calm his straining erection.

He quickly removed all of his clothes, except for his boxers.

“You really are a prude, ginger! I would have never guessed so,” Gellert sneered. “Do you have something to hide?”

Albus didn’t answer anything and entered the lake instead.

Then, as he dipped his feet in the cold water, he decided that they maybe should go back to the inn, when something caught his attention again.

“Your tattoo…”

“Hum?” Gellert mumbled.

“The… Hallows.”

“Ah, this one, you mean?” The blonde replied as he pointed to his butt while he swam back toward the shore. “Do you like what you see?”

Albus felt himself blush; yet he took some more steps in the cold water as he mustered his Gryffindor courage and looked at Gellert attentively as if he was analyzing a simple object.

“Not too bad, Grindelwald. Not too bad,” he replied as Grindelwald raised his eyebrows.

A spark of comprehension suddenly appeared in his beautiful eyes and suddenly, Albus regretted that he had teased the other.

Yet, he didn’t move when Gellert came near him; but was particularly careful not to look down at the other’s p… private parts even though he was quite interested in doing so.

It seemed Grindelwald had understood what was going on and Albus was oh, so very close, to finally give in to his secret desires and to grab the other by the hips to kiss him senseless.

But of course, he didn’t do anything in the end

“Hey, Dumbledore… do you like me?” Gellert asked charmingly as he batted his eyelashes.

He was so close to him now, that Albus would just have to tilt his head to make their lips touch. But before Albus could say anything to defend himself, or give in to temptation, someone coughed behind them.

“What are you two doing?” Riddle asked, a bit shocked and disgusted by what he was seeing. Trelawney was standing not so far behind him, which meant he hadn't murdered her and that they would not need to hide her corpse in the end.

Albus stumbled out of the water as if it had burnt him; the moment between him and Grindelwald gone out of the window.

Gellert seemed less affected by being caught up lazing around naked, though, as he continued to swim in the lake as if nothing had happened.

“Because of your shambles; you fleeing from Doge’s horrible singing, we had to go and search for you two everywhere! We agreed that it was way more fun to take amidnight bath instead.”

Gellert looked at Albus from head to toes, his eyes lingering on the latter’s wet boxers. He couldn’t help but add:

“Even if some of us don’t seem to understand the principles of it… Want to join us, Tommy?”

“No thank you,” Tom hissed. “Fooling around naked is not my cup of tea.”

He hated when Grindelwald called him so informally. Who did he think he was?

Yet, Tom knew how to pick his battles. And to be honest, he disliked Dumbledore even more. What a hypocrite the latter was.

The guy was always criticizing people who practiced the Dark Arts, yet it was clear that he wasn’t that repelled by a certain blonde...

“We were not fooling around!” Albus protested as he got dressed as fast as possible

He thought that Gellert was going to do like him and get dressed quickly, but no! The latter clearly took his time as he emerged from the water looking like a majestic water god (to Albus at least).

The situation was even more strange now and Albus could already tell that rumours were going to spread at the inn.

Yet, in a way, Albus was sure that Riddle was more the type of guys who did blackmail rather than spread rumors around and for once; this was maybe for the best.

Since he was still distracted by Gellert, who thank Merlin was finally getting dressed, Albus carelessly used magic to dry his long hair off.

A big mistake, since it seemed to wake Trelawney from her silent state as she declared with conviction: “You fool; you've used magic and cursed us all! Don't you know it’s bad karma to use magic in this forest? I will need to report this to Mr. Travers as soon as we get back to the inn!”

Well, so much from keeping this midnight bath a secret…

***

Getting back to the inn had been quite weird.

When Albus had crossed path with Minerva who was still with Vinda, he had managed to dodge her questions and had quiclky prayed that Riddle and Trelawney wouldn’t say anything about what they had just seen happening at the lake.

He had also counted on Grindelwald not to do so either.

Fortunately, the latter was way more interested in bitching on Trelawney than anything else for the moment; which was a relief to Albus.

Back in their room, Albus would have liked to remain forever under the shower, but since his recent adventure with the biggest magical spider he had ever met, it was maybe not the best of idea since he hadn’t managed to kill it in the end.

When Gellert saw him leave the bathroom, he couldn’t help but notice that his towel was particularly small.

He knew that the guy was a rule adept, but he could at least have done something about it with his magic if he had truly wanted to.

Not that Gellert was complaining about it...

Really, Albus was behaving weirdly since they had arrived at the inn. Of course, their relationship had always been quite peculiar, but it was not usually like that.

What had unsettled the latter so much? The lake? If so, the redhead didn’t need a lot to panic, really.

The Brits really were prudes…

Suddenly, a thought crossed Gellert's mind. Was it a good time to make fun of Dumbledore now? Hum…Albus had gone up against him for so long that he needed a lesson, didn’t he?

And if flirting with him was making him that uncomfortable, Gellert wasn’t going to stop. He had never thought about this technic beforehand, but it would be quite effective for sure.

Yes, it was dirty and unfair, but he was a dark wizard, not a monk; thank you very much!

Which was why on a snap of his fingers, Albus’ towel fell on the floor, and revealed to Gellert all that he had always wanted to know about the redhead and much more…

“Oh! You have freckles on your butt! That’s so cute!” He mocked, as Dumbledore picked his towel and placed it back protectively where it was supposed to be.

His face was as red as his hair and Gellert wasn’t thinking only about the ones he had on his head…

“Did you just use wandless magic to take my towel off?”

“You can’t prove it, Dumby! But more importantly, did you know that I can tell you your fate simply by looking at the freckles on your ass?”

“What kind of utter nonsense are you talking about? Are you out of your mind? Did your little swim in the lake destroyed the last shreds of reason you ever had?”

Gellert shrugged as he pursed his lips.“ I’m not joking… I mean… I’m fairly sure that I can read the future that way. I read a paragraph about it in one of my Tante Hilda’s book. I’m pretty sure I can constitute constellations with your freckles...”

Quickly, Gellert stood up and came dangerously close to grab Albus’ butt with his hand, who all but panicked internally. Albus was going to push the blonde away from him by reflex, when he was once more saved from this awkward situation by a gift from Merlin and Morgana combined:his phone rang.

It was his mother’s ring tone and for once, he was happy to hear it.

Albus almost flew to his phone as he quickly picked up the communication.

“Mom! How are you doing?” He asked without a lot of conviction.

A random conversation ensued and Gellert wasn’t interested in it as he crossed his arms over his chest, until now...

“I’m sharing my room with Elphias…” Albus mumbled. “Yes, I will tell him you say 'hello', but now I can’t… He is under the shower.”

Unfortunately for him, Gellert heard all of this and all but glared at him.

Albus was lucky that he didn’t grab his phone to correct the situation; but it didn’t mean that he was out of this mess!

He clearly would have to bribe his little brother to keep him silent about his lie...

Albus didn’t have another solution, anyway. His mother would have come to pick him up without delay if she knew with whom he was rooming…Even if he was 21.

Probably because he was ignored, Grindelwald decided to go shower and it was for the best, really.

Indeed, Albus wanted to be able to concentrate on his mother’s speech. She seemed to pest a lot against the fact that Aberforth wasn’t answering to her calls nor her messages; but Albus wasn’t listening really to her either.

Yet, it didn’t change the fact that he would have to lecture his brother tomorrow.

She kept talking and talking and talking. So much, that he heard Grindelwald turn off the water in the restroom, which meant the conversation had been going for a while. He answered distractedly to her until _the_ moment occured.

The one where he contemplated a totally naked and dripping Gellert Grindelwald for a second time in the same day. Either it was Albus’ best day ever or his shittiest, he couldn’t say.

Without thinking, he hanged up on his mother, who was still continuing her boring monologue.

Noticing his gaping mouth, Gellert asked him smugly:

“What? I've forgotten my towel in my bag… I didn’t want to bother you, while you were talking to your _mommy_.”

“Stop being indecent! Are you an exhibitionist or something?” Albus hissed.

“Hum… no? I just don’t see why I should be embarrassed,” Gellert answered as he finally put a towel around his hips. “I mean, if I can look at your butt to decipher your future, then you can look at mine for free. My way to thank you for being my living and breathing research material.”

Was Gellert going to have a lot of fun at this very intelligent and antagonistic _straight_ boy's expense? Yes, absolutely.

And he was more than ready to test his new theory about Albus Dumbledore...


	3. Hoeing for the Greater Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back with our wildest chapter yet!
> 
> English is not our first language!
> 
> PS: Go and watch the Just Dance video of Giddy on up on Youtube...You'll thank us later! XD

Albus was having a hard time to sleep. It was already 3 in the morning, yet he wasn’t even tired.

The reason why he wasn’t sleeping at this late hour was quite simple: Grindelwald was almost fast asleep on top of him.

If the last night had gone alright, it was quite different for this one.

Indeed, Albus had a foreign leg across his hips, something new and more than annoying. He had tried to push it off of him, but Grindelwald was quite persistent in his sleep, because the redhead still hadn’t succeeded in doing so.

At first, Albus had thought that Gellert was doing this just to annoy him; but in the end, he had realized that Grindelwald was truly sleeping.

Thanks Merlin, at least the latter wasn’t sleeping naked like he had taunted him that he would do.

Not that Albus would have minded it, of course. The denial was strong with this one…

As Albus was reciting in his head the lesson of advanced transfiguration he had had two weeks ago, Gellert suddenly said something in a sleepy voice. Albus froze and tried to understand what the blonde was saying. When he finally succeeded in doing so, he was quite shocked; really.

“Doge… Do you think Dumbledore will mourn for you?”

Albus’ eyes opened wide.

What?

Was Elphias really in danger?

To be honest, Grindelwald had a really nasty smile on his face right now, as if he was enjoying… torturing Elphias? Killing him? Albus was aware that the blonde didn’t like his best friend at all, but this might be a bit much, no?

Albus didn’t know what was happening in Gellert’s dream, but the blonde suddenly decided to snuggle even closer to him, sticking to his side way too much for Albus’ own good. For a second, Albus was tempted to wake Gellert up violently, but decided not to do in the end, since the feeling of Gellert’s breath against his neck was quite comforting…

Well, now, on top of not being tired, Albus needed to take a cold shower.

How great! Yet, this didn’t make Albus move an inch.

After all, it would be quite impolite to wake up the murderous dreamer, right?

Never mind for Elphias.

***

Gellert didn’t really know why he was doing this.

After all, he was a dark wizard, not your average benevolent citizen, thank you very much! And yet, he was going to do this because he was sure that Albus would appreciate the gesture.

Truth be told, Gellert shouldn’t have thought about that fact. And yet, he did.

It was the best he could do, given how Dumbledore had been embarrassed around him earlier this morning.

As Gellert had predicted it, Tom was already awake.

The latter was still working on the design of his future tattoo. Everyone knew that he was afraid of needles; but nobody dared to comment on it.

Usually, it was Bellatrix who went everywhere with Riddle, but with what was happening in the Black Family, right now…

You see, the purebloods had decided to marry their daughter to another pureblood, rather than to a half-blood, who maybe was very powerful magically but was still weak politically.

Was Gellert going to use that fact at his own advantage? Obviously. He had no pity; and especially for someone who had none anyway.

“Hey… Tommy!”

The glare the other dark wizard gave him made Gellert understand his mistake. If he was going to ask Tom a service – even against something else in exchange – it wasn’t a good idea to anger him. But was it really Gellert’s fault when Tom was so easily offended?

Fortunately, the blonde had another ace in his pocket.

“Okay, okay, Riddle then! How are you doing? I can help you with your tattoo design, if you want. I am pretty talented with a pencil. Drawing visions can be useful, so…”

Tom closed his sketchbook with a snap, quickly hiding the threatening drawing of a snake he had been working on for a while now.

“What do you want?”

Gellert put a fake shocked expression on his face:

“Why do you think I would want something from you? Can’t I simply speak amicably with a talented younger student? We are in the same branch of study, after all.”

“Cut your bullshit, Grindelwald. We both know how everything works, no need to lie.”

“Ah… My dear Tom… You have already lost your innocence. This is so sad. But speaking of someone losing its innocence, I’ve heard that your girlfriend was going to get married against her will? Really, I almost pity the poor guy who is going to end up with her, given her personality…. You could always have an affair with her, but that’s not ideal. So… Your cold black heart isn’t too broken?”

Tom glared even more at him. Gellert didn’t care, but still got to the point quickly.

He was the one asking for a favor after all…

“Okay, okay. Here is the thing: if you don’t speak about the lake incident to, I don’t know, this rat of Skeeter, I will help you to get rid of your rival. It’s as simple as that.”

“Are you offering me to murder someone, Grindelwald?”

“Well… if we have to come to that… but maybe we could find something less brutal. And more effective.”

“Oh,” Tom sneered. “You don’t want to kill anyone because you worry that your little boyfriend won’t like that?”

“He is not my boyfriend,” Gellert retorted. “And this has nothing to do with him. It’s just that if we kill Rodolphus, the Blacks will just have to find another pureblood to marry Bellatrix to; which means your problem won’t be solved. You have to acquire some value for them.”

“And what were you thinking about?”

“Power, Tommy. Power, of course.”

“I am powerful.”

“Yes. But not in the way that truly matters. Which is why I’m offering you to work for Slughorn and I… I’m sure you have heard of our little… agreement. I’m sure you would be amazing.”

“You want me to work in your illegal homework business? _What the fuck_?”

“Yeah, it begins with a tiny business like that. Then, you somehow end up being the king of the Magical Underworld, you win the respect of the shady purebloods and you stay with Bella. Okay, it’s going to take some time, but we can… I don’t know; convince peacefully each of her potential suitors to take definitive holidays?”

“It’s the most ridiculous plan I have ever heard.”

Tom stared at him for a few seconds. Gellert hadn’t partaken of his smirk. He knew how to lure dark souls in his business after all.

It was probably why Slughorn had contacted him in the first place anyway.

Which was why Gellert wasn’t surprised when Tom finally returned his smile:

“I’m in.”

***

Vinda was scrolling on her phone as rain was pouring some more outside. It was still fairly early in the morning, yet she and McGonagall were already awake. The latter had returned to their room a few hours ago and Vinda truly wondered if she had indeed gone to check on what the first years were up to last night, or if she hadn’t met with a secret lover to exchange a few snogs behind closed doors.

Doge, maybe. Or Abernathy, perhaps?

Vinda was sure of one thing though; it wasn’t Dumbledore.

If the redhead was very secretive about his love life (or rather about his lack of said love life), Vinda was fairly sure he was playing for his own team.

Surprisingly, Gellert seemed to think the latter wasn’t gay, which was absolutely incomprehensible to her.

Sometimes, her best friend could be quite oblivious to the most obvious things...

She had told him so more than once, but Gellert had simply shrugged it off and had told her that “If Dumbledore was gay, he, a gay man, would know, thank you very much”.

All in all, a pathetic argument…

Truth be told, Gellert had been acting out of sorts for a while now and since they had arrived at this disgusting muggle inn, it had simply grown worst.

Vinda knew for sure that Dumbledore was at least partly responsible for her best friend’s weird behavior and even more so now that she had questioned McGonagall about it and that the bespectacled witch had told her that Gellert was bothering her friend, who, supposedly was acting weird too.

Boys, really…

If Gellert was known all around the Dark Arts department for being a hoe, it was because he couldn’t shut up about his past sexual experiences rather than because of his (rather small) number of partners.

Gellert had been out of the dating scene for a while now and except Lockhart, no one had dared to make a move on him in the last few years. Probably because they all knew he was way above their league…

Of course, Dumbledore would never dare to pull a move on Gellert even though, Vinda shuddered a bit at the thought, Gellert clearly was in lust with him.

It was painfully obvious that all the tell-tale signs of an infatuation were there.

Gellert kept nagging at Dumbledore, he spent countless hours on the phone with him debating about one thing or the other, he was always staring at him when the others weren’t looking, he was stalking his Facebook page (and Merlin knew how boring it was) and he was extra careful with what he was eating and how he was dressed lately, which was fairly unusual.

After all, she and Gellert were known all around the school for the fact that they were complete disasters in the kitchen and liked to eat junk food.

Truth be told, the more sugar, salt and trans fat there was in a meal, the more likely they were to eat it.

Yes, she was fairly sure by now that what Gellert’s real problem was, was the awful amount of sexual tension existing between him and Dumbledore.

If Gellert and Dumbledore banged, Gellert would probably be back to his usual self afterward.

Clearly, her best friend wasn’t going to make a move when he thought Dumbledore was straight.

He would need an incentive…

She smirked as she scrolled through Dumbledore’s Instagram and was inspired by all the boring pictures she was seeing there.

She started to devise a master plan in her mind.

Tonight, Vinda had decided, was going to be the night something would happen between the two; otherwise, she would lock them up in a cupboard and would throw away the key until the two had shagged as if their life depended on it.

Minerva frowned at her from the other side of the room as she let out an evil laugh while she rummaged through her trunk and pulled out a pair of high socks.

She was a genius and Dumbledore wouldn’t stand a chance…

***

‟I’m now certain that we have picked the worst week ever for this event,” Elphias declared gloomily, as he looked at the falling rain by one of the inn’s broken windows.

Two other first years had decided to leave this morning, which wasn’t surprising, really, and even Horace Slughorn had declared that he was thinking of leaving too if things didn’t improve soon.

Minerva was done with the whole event too, but she simply couldn’t leave Albus alone with Elphias, when her friend really didn’t seem to be his usual self.

Since yesterday evening, Albus had been sporting a permanent blush and was still refusing to tell her exactly what was going on with him. Even now, he was acting out of sorts as he sat next to Elphias, a book in his hands from which he hadn’t flipped a page since the last fifteen minutes or so.

It was obvious his strange state was related to Grindelwald, who didn’t seem to act like his usual self either, and she hoped that whatever plan Vinda had come up with this morning (because all that mad cackling clearly meant something was up) would help in solving the matter.

Minerva sighed, as Hector Abernathy, phone in hand, sat down next to her. The latter was watching a show and had his headphones on.

She was tempted to do the same.

Aberforth and some of the remaining first years were talking discreetly in one of the corners of the room, while Vinda and Gellert were sprawled on a couch and were looking at a muggle gossip magazine.

Things were more boring than a pumpkin patch and she was thinking of getting up and getting back to her room, when Gilderoy Lockhart, his followers trailing a few feet behind him, walked into the common room all smile and charm.

‟Even though the weather isn’t on our side again today, your favorite Muggle Studies representative is here to cheer you up,” the latter announced with one of his trademark smiles plastered on his face. ‟Fear not my dear friends, for I, Gilderoy Gerald Lockhart, have found not only one; but two activities to compete and to occupy our restless minds this afternoon.”

‟I hope to torture him with an unforgivable curse is one of them, ” Gellert muttered loudly enough for everyone to hear.

‟There’s nothing to make one feel better than a Crucio a day,” Vinda added as they both chuckled and used their secret handshake.

‟My good friend _Bertille,”_ Lockhart smiled at said lady, who giggled and combed her thin hair with her right hand, ‟Has kindly offered to lend us her kitchen for a few hours this afternoon, so that we can host our very own cake baking challenge.”

Elphias clapped his hands excitedly. “Awesome! Can I be the judge?”

Gilderoy flashed Elphias a glorious smile. “I will be the judge and you can be my assistant. But my judgment will be more important than yours, because _I’ll be the judge_ ,” Gilderoy sat down next to Abernathy. ‟ I was thinking that we could pair up in teams of two. Whichever team bakes the most beautiful cake shall win. Oh, and have I mentioned that I’ll be the judge?”

“I think he wants to be the judge,” Albus muttered to Minerva, who smirked and knocked him in the ribs with her elbow.

Vinda and Gellert glanced at each other. Unbeknownst to everyone, the two had binge-watched _The Great British Bake Off_ during the summer holidays and were fairly sure they could pull this off; no big deal.

Travers sighed loudly. Baking wasn’t one of his perks and he didn’t really want to team up with Abernathy either. Surely, he could pretend that he had a letter to write to Umbridge to stay out of this?

Five minutes later, Lockhart and two of his avid fangirls, Elphias, Minerva, Albus, Gellert, Vinda and Abernathy entered the inn’s miniature kitchen.

Surprisingly, when Tom Riddle, Rita Skeeter and SybillTrewlaney had decided not to join the rest of the group, Aberforth had followed without complaining, which certainly was a first.

Of course, as was predictable, the inn’s kitchen proved to be as dirty as the rest of the location and it clearly didn’t look spacious enough for a baking competition to be held in.

One of the three ovens was broken and was used as a cupboard, the counters were cluttered with dirty silverware and a lot of the things that were placed on shelves around the room were outdated. Plus, the smell floating in the air truly was something else.

One of Gilderoy’s fangirl even left the room barely five minutes after stepping in, which meant a lot, considering her level of addiction to the dazzling blonde.

Since Travers wasn’t there, magic might or might not have been used to clean the place up a bit and to fix one of the ovens…

After this was done, everyone placed their wand on a counter located right next to the door and paired up into teams.

‟Do you want an apron?” Minerva asked three minutes later to Vinda and Gellert, who looked at her as if she had just sprouted a second nose.

Gellert quirked a doubtful eyebrow at her. ‟And ruin our fabulous look?”

Minerva decided to forget about it and didn’t even care to answer back, as she tossed an apron to Aberforth, who quickly put it on.

She then walked back to the table she was sharing with Albus, since the two had decided to work together. Their goal was to bake a red and gold Gryffindor cake.

Elphias, on the other hand, was working on a summer-themed cake with Abernathy, while Gellert and Vinda had decided to work on a Halloween themed cake (which suited perfectly their Dark Arts students aesthetic)

Finally, Abeforth…Well, Aberforth had decided to bake a goat cake.

How he was going to do so was a mystery though…

And truth be told, who in their right mind would want a goat cake anyway?

As soon as Lockhart had declared that the competition was on, Gellert had all but rushed to the fridge and had grabbed the whole pack of eggs for himself, as Vinda had stolen all the sugar and the salt and had brought them back to their workspace.

‟Give me two eggs, Grindelwald; or else, things aren’t going to end well,” Minerva sneered practically five seconds later, as she crossed her arms on her chest in front of Gellert and Vinda’s counter.

‟What are you going to do? Ask ginger to fight me for it?”Gellert cockily replied, as Albus avoided his stare and blushed and Minerva facepalmed.

Finally, after a few more minutes of arguing, Gellert rolled his eyes as Vinda handed the two smallest eggs of the lot to the bespectacled witch.

In the back of the room, it was obvious that Abernathy and Elphias had never baked in their life, as the two looked around to see what the other teams were up to.

Aberforth, looking like a baking pro, was already hard at work at his place, when the two boys understood as they looked things up on Google, that they needed some sugar to make their cake taste good.

Elphias had but no other choice than to go ask the two Dark Arts students for the missing goods and braced himself for the inevitable confrontation that would come out of it.

“Here Doge, have some sugar,” Gellert said with a fake smile on his face as Elphias looked at him dumbfounded and Vinda poured salt in a bowl and handed said bowl to him.

The poor lad had no idea that he had the wrong ingredient and, of course, didn’t taste it either before he added it to his and Abernathy’s cake mix.

Cake baking was a dirty business…

‟Baba fucking Yaga V, what are you doing?” Gellert all but yelled, three minutes later, as the mix of eggs and sugar Vinda was mixing fell on his favorite shirt and ruined his perfectly fitting skinny black jeans.

Vinda shrugged and tried to look apologetic as she helped her best friend to wipe his clothes clean, but ended up smearing them more instead.

After all, she was on a mission. She had a plan and if things worked her way, her best friend would be back to his usual self by tomorrow morning.

As soon as their cake was in one of the ovens, Minerva and Albus tried to clean their working space, as Elphias was still struggling with his batter.

His cake was tasting weird and he kept adding sugar to fix it.

It seemed he still had no clue that Gellert had handed him the salt instead of the sugar…

Thirty minutes later, the three teams plus Aberforth were down to decorating their cakes.

Gellert had just started to ice theirs, when Vinda left to go to the restroom.

She wasn’t prepared to face what was waiting for her at her return.

‟Did you honestly drew dicks on our cake with the icing?”

“WHAT? THOSE ARE GHOSTS! DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM THAT SEX DEPRIVED?”

“How can you be so talented at drawing and so bad at baking?” She simply quirked an eyebrow at her best friend. “We don’t have any more time to decorate another cake anyway, so I guess we are going to go with this one.”

Of course, when Lockhart walked past their table, he took one look at the cake and winked in Gellert’s direction. “I understand the message loud and clear. You can come to my room whenever you want...”

Which was exactly what he needed to say to end up with the whole bowl of icing on his head.

Truth be told, if Vinda hadn’t been there to save their cake, Gellert would have probably smashed it in the blonde’s face.

Lockhart muttered an “I hope you are as feisty in the bedroom,” which made both Elphias and Abernathy shudder as he left the kitchen to clean himself, eating icing with his fangirls by the handful as he walked out of the kitchen.

On the other side of the room, Minerva and Albus’ cake looked as though it had been iced by a four year old on a sugar high.

Plus, the red food coloring they had used profusely proved to be quite hard to wash.

Neither was satisfied with their cake, but compared to Grindelwald’s phallic ghosts, it didn’t look too bad.

Abernathy and Elphias’s cake looked like a smashed beach ball and the colors were a bit off, but at least now that it was iced, it was harder to see that it hadn’t baked evenly.

And then, there was Aberforth’s cake, which truly was in the shape of a goat and looked as beautiful as a Pinterest picture. It seemed all of those time he had baked cakes to cheer Ariana up had paid off.

Even if Lockhart and his squad of giggling girls had left, it was obvious to everyone that Aberforth’s cake was the best.

“Does mum even know how talented you are at baking?” Albus asked his little brother, as Gellert walked past him with Vinda on his heels.

‟No, and you better not tell her about it; otherwise, I’ll tell her all about your room situation.”Abe spat before he walked out of the room with his fabulous cake in hand.

Well, so much for complimenting his git of a little brother…

***

‟By Aliénor d’Aquitaine, you smell like a hoard of mooncalves in heat, Gellert,” Vinda bluntly told her best friend about an hour after the cake baking competition had ended.

The blonde quirked an eyebrow at her and tried to subtly smell himself. All the milk, eggs and sugar she had dropped on him at the beginning of the afternoon seemed to have grown sour.

‟Scheiße,” he muttered under his breath just as Albus, who was still trying to ignore him as much as possible, walked past him.

He would need to change clothes ASAP before Skeeter smelled him and wrote a bad article in the uni’s newspaper stating that he had a bad corporal scent.

After all, Aberforth Dumbledore was smelly enough on his own, thank you very much.

Lockhart had brought a mysterious device in the common room, where they were all seated and bored once more. While the latter was filming an instastory at the back of the room, Elphias, who really seemed knowledgeable in all things muggle, tried to plug the said device in the old TV with Slughorn, who seemingly was trying to give him instructions on how to do so.

While Minerva was out of the room to check if Travers and the sickly first year from Gilderoy’s fan club were ok, the two Dark Arts representative decided it was time to improve everyone’s mood by taking out the impressive amount of alcohol they had managed to sneak in the inn from Vinda’s tiny purse.

Skeeter let out a sigh of admiration and licked her lips just as Minerva walked back in, a shocked expression on her face, as she caught the sight of all that firewhiskey.

‟Why am I seeing all of those alcoholic beverages on the table?”

“Why not?” Gellert replied with attitude as he threw one bottle to Abernathy and handed another to Slughorn.

Abeforth quickly got up from his chair and picked one for himself as well. Albus intently looked at his brother with authority, but the younger Dumbledore shrugged and ignored him anyway.

What Kendra didn’t know couldn’t hurt her…

“You know fully well Travers will report this to Umbridge if he learns about it,” Minerva added as Skeeter bit her lip in the background.

Her hand was itching to get her quill out, but she somehow resisted the urge to do so.

“Exactly. We are lucky he’s not here right now,” Vinda smiled sweetly as Abernathy downed his drink in a go. “ _Quand le chat n’est pas là, les souris dansent.”_ The French witch concluded cryptically as she opened a bottle for her best friend and grabbed two more as they both left the room in order to change clothes, leaving all the other drinks on the table.

Minerva shook her head with disapproval as she sat back down next to Albus, who was sipping some firewhiskey too.

His tolerance to alcohol wasn’t very strong, but he thought it might help him get through the rest of the evening AND through the night, if he ended up a bit tipsy.

Who knew what Gellert would be up to tonight…

“IT’S WORKING,” Elphias all but yelled five minutes later as he got up and the mysterious device was turned on.

They all stared at the TV screen as a colorful animation began to play. Well, everyone except Lockhart, who had left the room with his fan club to film outside, where the rain seemed to have lessened; and Tom Riddle, who was busy looking grim and unfriendly as usual.

‟ _Just Dance_?”Slughorn read as a colorful menu appeared. “What’s that?”

“Another one of my aunt’s favorite game,” Elphias explained as he gave one of the controllers to Abernathy and handed the other one to a puzzled Slughorn. “It’s simple. You need to dance like the character on the screen. The best dancer gets points. Whoever gets the best score will win. We are going to have so much fun!”

Slughorn didn’t seem too convinced, while Elphias scrolled through the game’s menu.

‟Do you want to try this one?” he asked, as a girl like character was shaking everything Morgana had given her on the screen.

‟Don’t you have something more manly?”

Finally, after a few more minutes, _Animal_ was chosen. As soon as the video started, Aberforth grabbed his drink and fled the room.

There was no fucking way he would wiggle his butt in front of everyone.

Barely thirty seconds into the song, Slughorn, who was sweating profusely, bent down and threw his back out. Minerva had to help him out of the room as he howled in pain and Abernathy tried to keep up with what was going on on the screen.

If his pants ripped near the end of the video, no one dared to comment on it.

Of course, Elphias went next and asked Albus to join him. When _Timber_ went on _,_ they both tried to do what they could, but neither could dance.

Truth be told, their performance was so horrible, Tom decided something should be done.

He usually didn’t participate in anything, since Rosier and Grindelwald were usually doing everything for him, but the two hadn’t reappeared yet.

Since Rosier was a female she should have represented them.

After all, weren’t women supposed to be good at dancing?

It seemed he would need to do everything by himself once more.

Tom roughly pushed Elphias, who fell to the floor. Yet, he didn’t apologize.

After a few seconds of searching for a song, he selected _Uptown Funk_.

As the song began, everyone was amazed by how good Riddle truly was.

Who would have thought a Dark Arts student could dance like that? The latter was following so closely the movements shown on the video that it was as if he had already played to this game.

Maybe it was the case? No one would dare to ask him, anyway.

Albus looked at Riddle every now and then and was just finishing his second firewhiskey, when his world ended.

Gellert and Vinda were back and the redhead wasn’t prepared for what he was seeing.

Clearly, Gellert had drunk quite a bit while he was changing clothes, otherwise he would never have chosen that outfit.

Not only was he wearing a pair of short shorts, but he was also sporting high socks who clearly had belonged to Vinda at one point.

Albus fanned himself.

The blonde looked as though he had just emerged from one of his wildest fantasies.

Albus decided to drink more, thinking that maybe this would help him cope with all the lust he was feeling right now.

Vinda gave him a knowing look as she walked past him.

Tom Riddle had just finished his performance and was deemed the winner of this competition, but Albus wasn’t paying attention to anything anymore, since Gellert downed another glass of firewhiskey and stopped with Vinda in front of the TV.

Minerva sighed and seemed as puzzled as her best friend by Gellert’s outfit, but simply sat down next to him, a worried look on her face.

Albus just shook his head at her, still too entranced by how hot and naughty Gellert looked.

_Fuck, he was so gay for Gellert Grindelwald…_

Vinda scrolled for a moment in the game’s menu, before she finally selected _Giddy on up._ A smile appeared on the corner of her lips as she handed the Wii remote to her best friend, who was slightly swaying due to the level of alcohol that was already in his system.

“Awesome, this is one of my favorites,” Gellert declared as Minerva quirked a curious eyebrow at him as she saw the character on the screen was a female who wasn’t wearing much clothes…

Albus, who was feeling way too hot by now, was positively gaping.

He should close his mouth and take his eyes off Gellert, really, but how?

How was he supposed to do so?

Elphias, who enjoyed the game way too much even though he was terrible at it, was standing next to Gellert, but as soon as the video began, he was lost because of all the hip moves that were shown on the screen.

Truth be told, Elphias had the gracefulness of an erumpent, which was made even more obvious by Gellert, who surprisingly could shake his perfect tight ass like there was no tomorrow.

Vinda sat down next to Albus and Minerva. She studied the results of her cunning plan, an evil smirk on her lips, as the redhead drank some more firewhiskey, his eyes following Gellert’s every move.

Minerva cleared her throat as Gellert continued to execute perfectly the on-screen choreography, mouthing the lyrics of the song as he did a few more hip rolls.

Clearly, it seemed she was about to say theses dance moves weren’t very family-friendly.

With every new move, Albus knew he was more and more doomed.

He was probably drooling since he hadn’t closed his mouth for the last few minutes or so and was fairly sure his eyes were the size of saucers by now, but he couldn’t look elsewhere.

Those provocative dance moves, Gellert’s too tight shorts and those socks were going to be the death of him.

He had never been that turned on in his entire life…

Truth to be told, it would be a miracle at that point if he managed not to just jump on his frenemy and shag him senseless on the floor in front of everyone.

Finally, _finally_ , the song ended as both Elphias and Abernathy applauded Gellert’s flawless performance. The latter handed the remote to Skeeter and staggered out of the room to get some air.

Albus, who had lost all control on his self-restraint by now, quickly got up from the couch and swiftly followed the blonde outside.

Minerva got up at once to follow her friend and see what was going on, but Vinda simply patted her on the shoulder and gently forced her to sit back down.

Her plan was a complete success.

Gellert was leaning against the wall and was typing something to his great-aunt (or at least he was trying to) on his phone, when Albus grabbed him by the waist, spun him around and crashed his lips on his in a mind-blowing and very hot kiss.

***

Truly, it was going to be a miracle if they ever managed to reach their bedroom without either falling dismally on the floor or going at it frantically against the wall.

To be honest, Albus didn’t have anything against the second option - even though he still preferred the privacy of their room and a bed, seeing how drunk he was right now - but fortunately for them, they managed to get to their room without meeting anyone on their way to stop them.

They had begun to kiss when they were still on the stairs’ landing, absolutely unashamed, as they had let their body respond to their pent up desires.

At first, Albus had wondered if he was dreaming again, but this felt so real this time around, that he finally had to accept the truth: Gellert Grindelwald was in his arms and would soon be in his pants.

What a great way to finish this difficult day.

Maybe, if his mind hadn’t been already clouded by the alcohol, he would have thought about all the difficulties that would be brought up if he was giving in to his primal desires… But, let’s be real, even if he did at this point, he would probably still bang Gellert.

Was it really his fault if the latter had decided to become his fantasy incarnated?

The door locked itself behind them as it seemed Gellert had once more used wandless magic, which turned Albus even more on. The latter quickly placed his hands under Gellert’s thighs and lifted him, carrying him toward the bed.

Gellert had to admit that he was impressed: he would have never thought that this brainiac was that strong when he was usually doing everything he could to avoid any physical activities in real life.

Guess sex didn’t enter in this category, because Albus was quite motivated.

Not that Gellert was going to complain…

The blonde had to admit that he had a curious attraction for the redhead… an attraction that may or may not have been there for a while now.

After all, being rivals always created a lot of tension. Sexual tension, or so it was how it worked in all the novels he (secretly) read. 

As soon as they had reached the bed, Albus dropped the blonde on it. Gellert grabbed him by the collar and dragged him down with him.

Soon, Albus couldn’t really explain what had just happened, but the blonde had ended up on top of him. With Gellert straddling him, it felt so much like in his wet dream, that Albus was wondering if he didn’t have the Sight as well…

In fact, this was just like his dream…but better. Better because he knew for sure that this was real now.

He placed his hands on Gellert’s socks, slowly tracing a path with his fingers on the latter’s legs, from his thigh to his butt.

All the while, Gellert wasn’t outdone because he had already adroitly opened Albus’ shirt up and had begun to nibble and lick him everywhere he could reach.

His hair was tickling Albus a little, which was slightly distracting, but the latter didn’t dare to ask the blonde to stop.

“What do you want, Dumbledore?” Gellert purred in Albus’ ear. “Tell me…”

“Your ass.”

“Honest, are we?” Gellert chuckled. “More interested in reading my future than I yours, huh?” He added while he was rubbing himself against his partner. “It’s the first time I hear you being so honest about anything. Always being such a killjoy when we could have had so much fun way sooner with our rooming arrangement…”

“That’s because you are a git, Gellert…”

“Really… People say it’s one of my natural appeals, actually.”

Albus managed to silence him with a harsh kiss. It was without a doubt a tactic he had wanted to use on many occasions when Gellert was being a pain in the ass on Twitter and he felt lucky to be finally able to do so.

It didn’t take long before they had taken their shoes and their clothes off.

They had remained mostly silent up to now except for a few hisses and moans now and then, until Gellert had tried to remove his socks and Albus had grabbed his wrists to stop him.

“Don’t…”

Gellert didn’t take long to understand what was going on and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Who would have thought you had such a kink? Even if you sometimes post pictures of your newest pairs online…”

“You stalk my Instagram?”

“I’m sure you are doing the same with mine,” Gellert giggled. “For professional purpose, of course.”

It made Albus laugh. He felt so good with Gellert on top of him, right now; so relaxed.

Being a bit tipsy wasn’t so bad, after all – he would probably not think the same thing tomorrow though. He didn’t care for now: there were far more interesting things on his plate right now.

“Have you already did it with a man?” Gellert suddenly asked genuinely. 

Albus didn’t know why, but he felt uncomfortable with this question and it kind of ruined the mood a bit.

He was a rather private person and he didn’t feel like revealing things about his past sexual experiences right now, when they were literally going to have mind-blowing sex in a few seconds.

“And how is that of your concern?”

“I see; just another straight boy who wants to see where the wind will take him… You are so predictable…”

Albus was going to retort that he wasn’t straight at all, but was cut off in his attempt by Gellert’s hands, which had sneaked in between them. He quickly grabbed both of their cocks and expertly began to rub them together.

Given how drunk they were, Albus was quite sure they wouldn’t last long; but it didn’t mean that he didn’t appreciate every second of this… Even though Gellert was probably taking him for a virgin or something close to it – really, the nerve of that brat.

Which was why he decided to take the matter in his own hands and let his fingers wander on Gellert’s fabulous ass. He mumbled a quick spell and Gellert seemed quite surprised when he felt the effect of the lubricant charm Albus had just cast on him.

Albus was maybe less ingenue than he had thought for knowing such spells and Gellert certainly wasn’t going to complain about it.

When Albus’ fingers breached him, he couldn’t help but tease his partner in between moans and bites:

“Feeling adventurous tonight, I see…”

“ Don’t you ever shut up?”

“I’m sure you like dirty talk anyway.”

And Gellert seemed to know him right, because as soon as he began to whisper rather unholy things in his ear, Albus thought that he was going to come just like that, in Gellert’s hands.

This disappointing thought gave him the motivation to speed things up a little. As he pushed Gellert’s hands away from their cocks, Gellert let him do whatever he pleased with him for a few minutes, before he pulled Albus’ fingers out of him and shifted his position.

“Leave it to me, Dumbledore… I’m a big boy, I can handle myself,” he teased as he grabbed Albus’s cock and swiftly sunk onto it, biting his lips as he did so.

He probably was one of those people who enjoyed a frisson of pain with their pleasure and it wasn’t so surprising to Albus.

It was amazing for Albus. This entire situation was without a doubt, the ultimate realization of his fantasies. Having Gellert on top of him with such an expression on his face, wanton and unashamed – even if his make-up was now a mess – was a delight, really. Every time that Gellert was moving or squeezing his insides, Albus felt a ripple of pleasure.

As Albus had predicted, they didn’t last long: the pleasure went up quickly and they reached their release. They had really made a mess of themselves and Gellert hissed uncomfortably when Albus pulled his cock out of him as they changed position.

Soon, the latter let himself fall on Albus, who would have probably made a comment about how heavy he was if he hadn’t been so tired. He wouldn’t have been against another round either, but in his clouded mind, they still had the rest of the night to go at it, which truly seemed like all the time in the world.

He dragged his fingers in Gellert’s sweaty curls and conjured a spell to clean them up as Gellert was already dozing off on top of him.

They probably should have taken a shower right now, since the cleaning spell didn’t give a sensation of real cleanness, and do something about their soiled sheets while they were at it, like he usually did in this case, but felt way too drunk and tired to do so just now.

Plus, why would he move anyway when he had Gellert Grindelwald, who was a fantastic little spoon, all curled up against him, naked but for his high socks, like in his wildest fantasies?

With this wonderful thought still in mind, Albus fell blissfully asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> More silliness to come in the next chapters XD
> 
> Kudos and comments make our day!


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